Okay, that's enough winter for me...thank you very much. The fountain at the front of our sub-division is not supposed to look like that.
Fer Pete's sake, this is Houston, Texas! One of the alleged upsides to living in Houston was that I could be a delicate, if rather manly, hothouse flower and not have to put up with any more water that is white and hard, unless it's in my glass of Dr. Pepper...and often not even then.
I hate ice. I hate driving on it. I hate falling on it. I hate it falling on me. I hate it's temperature. I hate the way it pops water pipes. I hate scraping it off windshields. I just hate it. There is a reason that slippery and icy are words with negative connotations when used to describe a person. It's because ice is evil and was put on this planet by Satan so it could be used in excess by fast food chains to water down your soft drinks and make them more money.
Ice is bad.
And speaking of bad...Texan's driving on ice is just a whole new level of bad. And while it may be hilariously bad if you aren't out on the road with them...if you ARE then you're in for a real treat in white knuckled terror as Betty Sue goes sliding by your car sideways at sixty miles an hour in her SUV while stomping on her brake and screaming into her cell phone. The last thing I want to see out my drivers side window on I-45 is the word "Chevy" on a front grill about three feet away as it glides past. It does bad things to my digestion...on the spot.
I mean...THIS IS THE SUB-TROPICS FER CRYIN OUT LOUD!!! WINTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING WE READ ABOUT! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS TO CANADIANS, NOT US! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE AND I WANT TO COMPLAIN TO THE MANAGEMENT. I'M FREAKING COLD!
I would now like to return to my regularly scheduled seventy degree winters please.
Thanks.
That was laugh out loud funny. I even shared the whole write-up with my boss.
ReplyDeleteBut I hear you. After I lived in Tennessee for four years and I had to scrape windows etc., snow and ice just weren't that much fun anymore!
I just spewed coffee all over my computer screen...this post has got to be one of your best! Next time we order a Dr.Pepper at Denny's I'll be sure to pipe up and say, "hold the ice, please." lol.
ReplyDeleteGreat pic of our fountain at the front of our neighborhood!
Cherri