Bad Hand Day.

Went to bed early last night, trying to straighten out my nights and days. Has anybody noticed this is a running theme with me?
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I had a "bad hand day" yesterday, meaning the CMT was causing my hands to act up and making them fairly useless. It's odd, I can still type fairly well, but I'm losing the ability to use a pencil or pen. It's all in the way you have to hold your fingers. And pretty soon I may have to start taking somebody with me when I need to gas up the car because I'm losing the hand strength to open that gas cap. It's because of the way the cap is recessed down in there...it requires more finger strength as opposed to just arm strength.
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I guess I've never really considered myself disabled. It's a tag that I've managed to keep out of my self image for the most part...at least until recently. I usually don't even have this condition in my dreams, which kind of shows how little I think about it.
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How do I do that?
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By making immediate concessions to it where I can, so it doesn't hamper me, and then lots and lots of denial. Sure, I usually wear shorts which lets my braces show, but I don't think more of those nowadays than I used to think of my shoes...at least until I'm trying to get around without them. So the truth is, I usually don't dwell on it. That's why I usually don't feel, "disabled."
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And it's not a good feeling.
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I think the first time I really felt it was when my little boy wanted to ride on my shoulders at the zoo, like some other kids with their Dads. I couldn't, and it hurt. And seeing the disappointment in his eyes hurt even worse. That's when I truly felt something had been taken away from me, that should have been mine. That's the first time I felt "disabled." So I make compromises, and try to not set myself up for situations where it might matter...yet still try and see to it that I'm not keeping the kids from enjoying life. It ain't a perfect solution, but it works.
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Oh well, enough about my shortcomings. I got to see a rough sketch of what my book cover is going to look like...and it looks promising. So that's a good thing. Jessy is putting together the proofs and soon I will be able to see what the book will look like on the inside. It's going to be cool. Pretty soon I will be able to hold a book that I actually wrote in my hands.
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I'm looking forward to that.