Maybe I missed my calling.
Maybe I drifted into being a horror writer because deep down I knew I was supposed to be a super-villain.
I think I could have been a pretty good super-villain. I would have dressed nice for the part, and always carried the role with dignity. I would have avoided excessive monologueing, kept my airducts small and uncrawlable, an never allowed a self-destruct button within a thousand miles of me.
But I would have insisted on a shark tank.
Because if you're going to have evil henchmen, you've gotta have a shark tank. Nothing says, "You have failed me for the last time," like a short, exciting swim with the sharks. And it's a great motivator too.
Or maybe I really wasn't cut out to be a super villain.
Maybe I just wanted a shark tank.