Saturday, November 13, 2010

Skyline Review

Have you ever been to one of those movies that you actually felt dumber for watching? Yes? Then let me warn you right now...Skyline is one of those movies.

Yes, I'm talking about the movie with the cool trailer showing people getting sucked up into the sky by alien spacecraft. And you're not going to believe why they're doing that. Usually, I hate giving spoilers but this premise is so unbelievably dumb that I'm going to do it anyways. They are kidnapping people so they can eat/steal their brains.

That's right.

Instead of zombies shambling around hunting nourishment from human nervous systems, we have alien invaders in vast intersteller spacecraft who have crossed the great gulfs of space to eat our brains. And on top of that they decided to set the story of these starhopping brain munchers in Los Angelos. Talk about a poor buffet selection. So, right off the bat the movie has an enormous strike against it because it's very premise is astoundingly stupid.

But the dumbness doesn't stop there. For some reason if you look long enough into the aliens little people attractor light, but don't get taken, it gives you super strength to help fight the aliens later. Yeah, thats a pretty glaring glitch to leave in your snaring device if your a super advanced race of brain eaters...or to put in in the first place. But that's okay, this movie is going to treat you to more stupidity than that.

Your going to see a dogfight between aliens and predator drones just so a B-1 bomber can get close enough to launch a nuke at a big alien ship. We've been able to hit targets halfway around the world for half a century,   but now must get within three hundred yards of our target. Yeah.

And don't even get me started on a cast of some of the most unlikeable characters going. It's not that you hate them, it's just that I have seen cheap horror hack  n slashes with bottom tier talent have characters that you at least were interested enough in to wonder how they were going to get it in the end. These guys? Not so much.

And believe me, the stupidity doesn't stop there. Physics and laws of thermodynamics are not only glossed over as they often are in recent scifis, but this movie hawks a big loogie and spits it right in their collective faces. Regenerating ships utilizing an energy curve and making material out of nothing on a scale that makes you wonder what these guys need anything for...much less brains from LA. And I won't even go into the conundrom of advanced space hopping aliens who then go hopping around a city like gigantic gorillas and expending ridiculous amounts of energy and resource to get those last tiny few brains out there.

Save your own brains, and skip this mess.

1 comment:

  1. Wow just wow. Brutal, and at the same time true.