Monday, January 4, 2010
How To Avoid Murdering Your Kids
It's simple really. Don't ever try to write when they are home. Ever.
Because there is something about the sight of an adult trying to write that drives the six year old into clamoring for your attention every three and a half minutes. Pleading for them to play doesn't work, begging them to watch TV fails, putting them on a computer game only initiates a running monologue of their adventures on the computer at the top of their lungs, and threats of mayhem are only as effective as their attention spans allow . . . which isn't even long enough to get your blood pressure back down from their last interruption. Soon you find yourself too busy trying to calm yourself to actually be able to even attain a moderately creative frame of mind. And of course as a writer you are acutely aware of the time you could be writing, flitting away without accomplishing anything.
Gypsies don't buy kids anymore, do they?