Friday, September 11, 2009
Bad CMT days.
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Been having bad CMT days the last couple of days. Fortunately, that doesn't affect my writing very much. Unfortunately it affects everything else.
I don't mention my malady often, simply because I usually don't think of it. I guess I came up with this interesting form of denial when it comes to my handicaps. Unless they are actively interfering with what I'm doing, they don't exist. I don't attend any support groups, see any counselers, or read much literature involving my condition. Heck, after all these years with it, I still don't have it in my dreams. I guess I just don't identify myself with it on that level yet.
I put my braces on first thing in the morning, and of course they're with me till I go to bed. And I don't think anything more of it than putting on shoes. They're just a necessary part of my wardrobe. So unless I'm actively having trouble with it, I just don't think about it.
Lately it's been getting into my hands more, which of course has been giving me some trouble. Buttons, snaps, lids, can openers, grabbing kids, etc, are getting more difficult lately. . . so I end up being reminded of it, which is why my mention of it today. I guess as long as I can operate a keyboard though, I'm okay. Anyways, I'll eventually adapt to this level of the stuff and then stop thinking about it again. That's the key to not thinking about it . . . successful adaptation.
And it gives me an element that I can use in my charactors while writing. For instance, the main charactor of Argiope suffers from permanent injuries to his legs and back that he sustained in a car crash. My experience helps round out his character, because I can understand his day to day difficulties, and I understand his vulnerability. And vulnerability is an important element in characters. They all have them. Understanding that and consciously working with that makes for better writing.