Salvation is Bright Yellow

It's coming.

Only a few more hours and it will be here in all it's lemony colored glory. The School Bus! The wonderful, wonderful School Bus! My mornings haven't been the same without it. They've been...noisier...and full of children. But now the school bus will return, and whisk the children away to the hallowed halls of education so that they will no longer tempt Dad to join the ranks of famous Axe Murderers, but may instead achieve greatness, and help their father retire to the reward he so richly deserves.

 But this hard earned happy ending will have to wait until much later in the future. For now, I will simply settle for this...

This will be good enough. A peaceful house that I can write, plan, work, market, or do whatever else needs doing with a civilized level of peace and quiet. This is what I have sorely missed. The ability to connect two thoughts in my head without a crash, scream, yell, wail, or howl of pain or fury to jump in and disconnect them again.

On another note, I also had a Writer's Night Out with Cherri Galbiati last night. I actually sat and talked with an adult. That's important because I wasn't sure I was going to remember how to have a conversation without breaking into shouts of "You better answer me by the time I count to three!" Sigh.

Oh well, we talked late and into the early hours of the morning. We both agreed that there comes a time you have to get back to writing and just leave the promoting behind for a while. It really interferes with my ability to write, as the mindset for promotion is completely different than the mindset for writing. At the moment, I'm easing back into a writing mindset myself. I'll still do some promotion here and there, but I intend to stop come the beginning of next year and focus totally on writing until I get some projects done.

Well, I hope everybody had a great weekend and didn't have any trees land on their houses.

Enjoy your Monday!

Weekend Post

So, there is a tree laying on my house.

I guess this is going to interfere with my grand plan to hang Christmas lights. Or not. Maybe I'll just string lights over the whole leafy mass and call it my outdoors display. I'm sure there are some design possibilities in there somewhere.

Anyways, it appears that most of it landed in the back yard so whatever damage there is could have been a whole lot worse. Now we'll just have to wait and hear from the insurance company to find out what the next step is. I'll also need to get into the back yard and see if there was any damage to the kids playground set. Then I'll suppose it will be placed on my Grand List of Messes That Need Cleaning Up. Sigh!

Now I just need to figure out what to do with this weekend. Renfest is a possibility, but I'll have to check the weather. Getting some much needed sleep is also on the agenda. At the same time, a little housework might be in order as well. After all, I have other things than fallen trees on my Grand List of Messes That Need Cleaning Up. I suppose I could also try to catch the raccoon. That would be nice.

Then Monday will come, and that magical yellow Chariot of Peace and Sanity will come to save me...

Have a nice weekend!

I'm Thankful A Tree Didn't Fall On My House...Oh wait..

It pretty much went down like this...

Yes, that's right. While we went over the hills and through the woods to Grandmothers house, the tree beside my driveway attacked my house. Of course, we were blissfully unaware of this act of arboreal treachery at the time.

Wednesday evening, my wife pulled the twisted wreckage that was me from my forced imprisonment with the two clutter spawning savages that had almost destroyed my psyche. She piled us all in the car and we headed for Bryan, Texas. Slowly, ever so slowly, I started to realize there was another adult in my vicinity to help absorb juvenile demands for attention and so I crept back to a semblance of humanity. After a suprisingly peaceful trip, we arrived at Grandmothers house and hit the bed.

It was very good.

And of course the next day was Thanksgiving. Now having enough adults around me to actually outnumber the kids, I could start to imagine things to be thankful for in the world again. I thought of a good list including health, family, and good friends. Unfortunately I didn't remember to be thankful that a tree hadn't fallen on my house, but what were the odds? Besides I was busy thinking about being grateful for all the turkey, cornbread dressing, rolls, beans, potato salad, and other stuff spread out in front of me.

It was all I could do just to remember to show restraint in the face of what amounted to a guilt free mountain of food.

Afterwards I watched the football games in what practically amounted to a carbohydrate coma. Fortunately the games were good (even if the wrong teams won) and kept me awake. The kids amused themselves with toys, puzzles, and occasionally being yelled at by adults to settle down and stop being loud. And the best part was I was only doing the yelling part of the time.

Anyways, I good time was had by all and we boarded the car again after the football games and made our way home. As we pulled into our dark driveway, my wife commented that it looked there had been some wind while we were gone as there was a branch on her car (which we left in the driveway while we were gone.) I was noticing that, then noticed that the canopy of the tree on the other side of  her car from us seemed to be hanging lower...a lot lower. As in it was laying on our backyard fence and our house.

We didn't see any damage to the house, although we noticed the fence had been messed up some. It was late though and visibility poor. So we shall have to wait until daybreak to assess the damages from this particular Thanksgiving adventure.

I wonder if it bothered the raccoon?

Day Three: Rabid Feral Something Something Edition

Yes, I now enter Day Three of the Thanksgiving Week. The third full day of the domestic equivalent of being thrown into a pool of shrieking piranhas. I can even hear them in my dreams...Dad! Dad! Dad! But it's okay, because I have a loyal helpmate to see me through these difficult times, right? Right?

Well, not exactly.

So, there's that.

Then there is the matter that the raccoon has now managed to actually gain access to the cabinet above the microwave and forage among my cookie cutters. He hasn't actually stolen any yet, but he is having a high old time with them. The cabinet is now twist tied shut while our furry invader rocks and rolls above our stove. Karla and I have agreed that something must be done, but are still debating what to bait the trap with. Yeah, we're real motivated, aren't we. Meanwhile, the raccoon tries to decide what wallpaper to hang in his new pad.

So, there's also that.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel...and it is shaped like a big dead bird on a platter. That's right. For there will soon be turkey. Yes, turkey.  Turkey is going to fix this outrage that has been inflicted upon my delicate psyche. Turkey is going to make it all alright. For you see, turkey is loaded with tryptophan, and tryptophan helps you relax. And there will be dressing. And there will be other adults around too. So the kids will be outnumbered instead! Oh yes! YES! Soon, this evening in fact, I will load the kids into the car and it's off to Grandma's house we go!

So I'm about to sign off for a couple of days. I'll hope to post again sometime Friday, if I can.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

Day Two: Children Bugaloo

I got nothin'. And I mean nothin'.

I don't have a single creative synapse left firing in my head. I don't have a single organized thought that would approach anything resembling a coherent paragraph that could be added to a story. I don't have one shred of focus left. All I've got is the hiss of background static running through my mind...

...and a twitch.

For you see, I watched children all day. Alllllllllll day. By myself. Because some goombah in the Texas School System seems to think that Thanksgiving should merit an entire week off.  But I've been over that.

And lets not even imagine what the house looks like right now. Oh no, we don't even want to go there. For there are two of them, and they are young and fast, and can mess up things at a speed that one single, slow adult can not even hope to keep up with. They are whizzing comets of chaos and I am the grand, slow gas giant of lost causes who hopes that all the clutter doesn't get caught in his gravitational pull and forms a ring around him as he shambles in a stately orbit through the house, clearing insignificant fractions of the deepening mess. Sigh.

Oh well, this too shall pass.

One more day and it's off to Grandma's house we go. Then it will be turkey, dressing, and a couple of other pairs of adult eyes to help with the kiddos. And there will even be a football game. Cool! The kids are at least smart enough to know that making Daddy crazy during the football game is verboten. Probably something to do with survival instinct. So there is that.

Anyways. we shall see if Tuesday goes a little better. Maybe I just need to catch a second wind and hit my stride. I do have a stride...I think. Sort of.

The Truth Sinks In

Tomorrow is Monday.

Unlike the rest of the world, I find Monday to be one of the most glorious days of the week. For it is on Monday that the beautiful yellow school bus comes like an angelic chariot and whisks my children away to their date with education, thus leaving me with seven magnificent hours of child free peace. Seven wonderful, blissful hours.

But not this week.

Oh no, not this week. For this week they have the entire week off. The entire week. Not just Thursday and Friday like we used to when I was a kid and the world was sane. No, they get the entire week. Five days home alone with me. Five days demanding every second of attention available. Five entire days to insure that not only does Dad not get a single word written, but will probably go clinically insane.

Is this what I pay taxes for?

No it is not! The public school system has really let me down on this matter. The whole point of establishing a national public school system was so parents could send their little ones to the safety of a state sponsored education and out of the reach of adults trying to get something done. Seriously, an entire week for Thanksgiving? Look, I'm thankful...but not that thankful. If they wanted to get a whole week in their honor, the Pilgrims could have done something like inventing nachos, or football, or something other than just sitting around starving until Indians brought them corn.

 But this is my lot so I must endure. Needless to say, there will be no writing getting done this week. Perhaps that's for the best. Perhaps I should just surrender on the idea of writing and try to figure out something to do with the kids instead. It's only for a week...right?

At least until Christmas when it becomes TWO weeks.

Megamind Review

Last week I reviewed the disaster that was Skyline, so I thought I would try my hand at movie reviews again. This time I had the seven year old in tow, so I decided to go see Megamind. It was a much, much better movie and I'm even giving it an extra star (although I don't use stars) just because it isn't Skyline.

The premise is fairly straightforward...two babies from alien planets are sent to earth to avoid their worlds destruction. One, is a virtual clone of Superman and lands in the home of wealthy parents where he is doted upon and grows up to be the great hero of Metro City. The other lands in a prison yard and is raised...differently. The two meet in school and the boy that becomes Metroman is the popular class favorite, while the juvenile Megamind finds his attempt to impress his classmates with his genius tend to end in disaster. Finally giving up, he decides to become a master criminal instead...and the rivalry is born.

The two have many great battles throughout the years, always ending with Megamind's plots being foiled and Megamind back in prison. The heroine, reporter Roxanne Ritchi, is always rescued and carried to safety by Metroman and everybody lives happily ever after...at least until the next showdown.

Then one day things turn out different.

Much to everyones amazement, including Megaminds, one of his plans actually works and Metroman is destroyed. Now the city is defenseless, and the evil mastermind takes over. The problem is that after an initial period of joyful plunder Megamind finds the thrill is gone. It's too easy, and none of it seems to matter anymore. (this is where the adults will pick up on the point that Megaminds whole existence, including his very identity as a supervillian, has been dictated by his rivalry with Metroman, and now his very world is starting to crumble without him.) So in an effort to get the old thrill back, he finds a piece of Metromans DNA and injects into somebody else in order to create another superhero rival. At the same time, he also finds himself masquerading as an ordinary human so he can date Roxanne Ritchi.

Needless to say, the attempt to create a new rival goes awry as the person he injects is a whole different personality than Metroman, and is actually a loser himself who ends up using Metromans powers to take out his frustrations with life on the city. Now it's up to Megamind to take on a new role and try to save the day.

Overall, the movie succeeds at pretty much everything it attempts. It managed to keep my hyperactive seven year old quiet and in his seat, while being enjoyable to me also. There is plenty of action and slapstick for the kids, and yet still enough satire and intelligence to appeal to the adults. The voice acting is spot on, and the little twist near the end alleviates the one moment that might have been a little too dark for some kids. On a side note, I found it interesting how both the supervillains were actually products of their obsession with somebody else.

If you have a kid, take them to see Megamind...but you don't need one to go see it if you want to. I give it two thumbs up...with an extra star thrown in for not being Skyline.

Where's My Moonbase?!

Terry Pratchett once observed that inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

Tonight I was thinking about how I had watched a man take a step off of his spacecraft and onto the surface of the moon. I was seven years old and that was over forty years ago. And I remember thinking that by the time I grew up they would have the first city on the moon, and I would be up there to see it. I even dreamed of being the captain of a moon ferry that would take people from one moonbase to another across the moons surface. I imagined giant telescopes built in the low lunar gravity and taking advantage of the lack of atmosphere to accomplish unprecedented astronomy. And I just knew I would be part of it.

Forty years ago.

I think it's safe to say that boy back then would have been mightily disappointed if he knew the way things were going to turn out. The future turned out to look a whole lot like the past, only with the ability to do more things on TV screens and with telephones. Not to mention the cars don't fly, nor even have those fins that made them look so cool anymore. I don't have a robot to do my housework, and it turns out half the nifty things invented to make my life easier over the past thirty years will probably give me a tumor. To be honest, in a lot of ways we have gone a whole lot of nowhere.

As a matter of fact, next year we retire the shuttle fleet. At that point the United States will effectively cease to have a manned space program. We can hitch rides with Russians up to the International Space Station, but that's it. Our astronauts will just be hitchhikers on other peoples spacecraft to other peoples Space Stations. That's where we are forty years later.

Somehow, somewhere in the past, the people who made those decisions lost the whole vision thing. And this is where it has left us. For a fraction of what TARP cost us, we could have funded every single project cancelled by NASA this century, including the manned moon missions. But we just don't have it in us anymore. I wonder if we will even be training astronauts in another ten years time? Or I wonder if in another forty years, the last of the people who watched a man step out onto the surface of the moon will be dying off in retirement homes around the country, being taken care of by people who could never understand the world they came from.

Friday Home Upgrades

Well, I survived another night without getting bumped off by any vengeful raccoons. I know it's up there in the attic, biding it's time, so I'm looking for something to bait the trap with. I realize it's going to come down to me or it. The kids are two young to be of help in this battle, and the wife has designated most domestic problems to fall under the catagory of "Nates Problems." That leaves me with nothing but the cats for allies...and cats are only your allies when you are in the act of pouring their cat food into their bowl. One second before or after that act and you're on your own.

So it's Me vs. The Raccoon.

On another note, our new couches arrive today. After twelve years of friends, family, roommates, and finally orangutans masquerading as human children, our couches are decrepit shells of their former selves and it's time to send them to that big furniture warehouse in the sky. So Karla bought us some shiny new couches to grace our living room, and for the kids to admire at a safe distance. They will be allowed to sit on the wonderful new furniture once we are assured they can do so without causing stains, breakage, or strange smells...probably sometime after they return from college.

I got a little done on Argiope yesterday. Actually quite a bit, but it was all in the form of rewriting so it didn't really go towards improving my word count...just the story. Still trying to figure out how to ease into that romance angle. Lately the story has been at the stage where the protagonist is totally smitten by this girl but thinks she is both unavailable and out of his league. Now he has just discovered that he has completely misunderstood the relationship between her and another man. But there is still the whole "out of his league problem." We'll see.

Oh well, the weekend is upon us. Enjoy your Fridays!